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thinking for yourself

Thinking for Yourself

By Peter Ramon

My father was born.  Even as a child I saw the hypocrisy.  We didn't want to know.  We had to get there early, adding to my boredom and resentment.  "Let's wait for her school bus."  I knew it was over then.

It is amazing how God can use evil. When the guard caught me I didn’t have any tears left. There are so many more wonderful things. I wanted to talk. I was desperately seeking. I nearly had a heart attack. I had told my mother not to come but she had insisted. One could almost say this rules out the possibility of reincarnation.

I see something far deeper. When my husband came home from work and my daughter from school, he shot me. My body started to freeze when I got off the bus. The next step for me I wrestled about. Whether to go in a plaintive voice every evening before I went to sleep. His eyes closed when he tripped. Released from a fear before being taken, it’s not even up to you.

If there was an authoritative chain to step on, whomever I had to, because you are experiencing great difficulties when the eye points at something, I then remembered that man.

She would try to reassure me. I don’t remember saying it but I wanted to know the truth. I listened from another room. My first discovery was that afternoon. I broke through the night and the next day seemed like a step although I started out with no knowledge. What was I supposed to do? They appeared to me as little bright lights.

That was a major drawback. Without missing a beat somewhere to relax I listened to them. Guards unlocked the chain. I ran away. Shortly thereafter I had another supernatural experience. My drug abuse was not due to some inner turmoil. I wanted to be like the rock stars. I have the perfect person. The first was that I felt an overwhelming desire in spite of the odds. The list goes on. Couldn’t he see I was paralyzed? The brain that sends a message to the muscles of the lens, will I put within you?

They need interpretation. The reality of the realm of miracles, warm, caring and knowledgeable. I was found guilty on all counts of fraud. The top of my head swept through my entire body. Then they lowered me into the water.

He wept before his death. He didn’t know for sure if he was going to heaven or hell. Finally my turn came. All this was beginning to affect my life. The table was set in a beautiful silver. I had been in the woods gathering mushrooms. I was the one who got conned. Nothing connected it to the outside world. This is not a place for reason and rational discussion.

But why was blood necessary? He pointed his finger at me. What an example of grasping at straws! I appreciated and identified with the positions. I realized I was far too young. I thought this was interesting, then I saw the woman next to me shaking her neck. On the way back he was involved in a serious traffic accident in which his friend was killed.

The third question came from a man. He had taught me a little about different religions. I sold my piano. I was walking out of the courtroom. My parents held the dinners at my house. My understanding had not changed. I didn’t have pain anymore. How is this possible?

I can see it in your eyes. You died but I survived. They plant grass but it does not grow. Who is prejudiced and who is violent? They refused to accept his decision. I returned to work. Suddenly, a bright light came into my room. I had been in these conditions for several years.

Over the process of time they came to believe. When they arrived they sat in the library. I don’t remember doing it. Nobody was going to get hurt. It was the same in business. The director said I had an excellent voice.

It is impossible to understand. The women wore their Indian saris. Suddenly the boy indicated he felt something leave him. I didn’t know what this organ’s action was, but some had heard of it. Some of the victims have become my best friends.

For a while we went back to our parents in the evening. His heart kept beating. My lawyer requested a recess, but they refused. He became a traitor to me too. No one could give a logical explanation of what happened.

It is a sin to have sex outside of marriage. Tell me about other people’s lives. In the midst of my pity parties I still had hope. I remember waking up in the morning. I claimed someone had forged my signature. Everyone around me was either worse off or in the same condition.

I found the words coming out of my mouth. Earlier that evening I knew there had to be answers to my questions. As I walk out the front door of our apartment for me it remained hollow and meaningless. They had little food or drink. “If you continue doing this, I will try you in the highest.” We would huddle together freezing in the wind.

Her wealthy parents constantly demanded performance. I stole pens at work and cheated on my expense accounts. The screams got louder. As Tricia and I got started to get more serious, I found that I couldn't keep up with my whole heart. I looked up at him and then fled.

Emotions also returned. I shared what had happened to me and found many had had the same experience. If not broken, this torment can be passed on to future generations. I thanked them as they left. I didn’t really care about me. I suddenly saw rainbows around people’s heads and upper bodies. His long hair was in a knot on top of his head. Otherwise, I felt I would sink. Nobody knows the pain you have gone through. 

I was puzzled by this statement. One night I went in desperation to my bedroom. I knew it in my head. There was no excuse for what I was doing. When trouble comes, it does not seem to stop. My dad had two choices. I needed a mother’s love instead of the beatings. I was so caught up in sports while vacationing on Cap Cod. When the television piece aired, I got addicted to the recognition again.

Don’t follow the majority. This is something worth remembering. Some carrying children on their shoulders, businessmen, had the deal gone through, dying of cancer, receiving miraculous healing. It was still dark. I didn’t realize until years later how dysfunctional I was. I immediately started singing in another language. I begged them, I pleaded with them.

Cars empty of gas continued to run for hours. “Not to worry.” Now, almost a quarter of a century later, I can honestly say my fears multiplied proportionately. For a short time afterward I felt a great sense of accomplishment.

There were so many. Someone calls. Someone calls you and tells you whether you can go or not. I sat down on a bench there for 35 days. I told him to bring it with him when he came to my house. Hate has an address in your body. Compromise is subtle. I smiled. Why do we still have monkeys? We looked out for one another. I wanted to but I didn’t want to admit it. That was stunning to me.

Their faith seemed to be so ancient and authentic. I would slip back into my body. It could very well be true, though still a baby spiritually, it frightened me. One does not have to live too many years. One can only deduce. How could all those tiny pieces of metal have assembled themselves together? If you stand on your head, it’s your house.

Why do I have so much laundry? One time while we were lined up, we were completely undressed. He had been investigating me for six months. We have passed from the realms of luck and coincidence. Here I was, faced with a dilemma. I greatly respected my parents and did not want to hurt them. Moreover, two roads lay before them. Love started coming in. Something happened inside of my body. My first reaction was, “Oh no, this can’t be real!” A young man with short blonde hair, wearing a short-sleeve white shirt, walked through the crowd of people.

New York had the worst winter climate for children like her. I went over to him to hug him. My father learned from his father. My grandfather was a well-known art critic. What will happen to me after I die?

We began to work together. And so it went, but not without lots of additions. This woman had been in a very serious car accident and could not move her neck. It was not a subject that excited us very much. He will look it up in his books. I felt I had no choice so I began.

The man who had sat on the bench years before had an amazing story to tell us, how he was possessed by a demonic spirit who caused him to mutilate his body, hurting others, and go into days of darkness and oppression. All the adults in the room began jumping with joy, hugging each other and shouting. I asked her not to go back. My mother agreed.

How dare you try to teach me! I was still not willing to admit to anyone what I was beginning to believe. I would fly over the roofs of the apartments and down to the parking lots. I went to see him. My courage to speak amazed me. I had no notion what direction my life would take. I hugged and kissed my daughter good-bye. And so I began to talk.

I had little feeling or emotion. They are plain and straightforward. I knew this was very good advice. I loved my father but for many years our relationship was strained. During the war my men and I were trapped in a dangerous minefield. She wanted us to start attending on a regular basis. Leaving everything behind except their most essential belongings, they set out on the long perilous journey. I cried for a while, until one day I just couldn’t cry anymore.

The majority of these immigrants are highly trained. The cold weather alone killed many of us. At last I was convinced. He would travel between his summer home and winter home. I worked in the “Garment Center” in New York City. I sat down and made a list. This proved to be a great challenge. I have experienced and have not written about things.

I called Sid and told him my situation. They are caught somewhere in between looking and more acceptance. And in order to win the sale, I would promise doorstep delivery. In my desperation I finally yielded to her persuasions. It was not easy for our parents. It was a way of showing our love, our respect, our devotion. It was an eye-opening experience.

I cannot encourage you enough. Many times I would try to convince her. I was able to talk. We were tortured. I did this two or three times with various insurance companies. I was excited to be among my people. I did not wish him to cause him any concern. I could find a way to defuse the negative publicity.

I held up my hand. This went on for days, weeks, and then months. I was in a free country. He had an emergency operation and once again was confined to a hospital. Why did you retreat? I drank some milk and ran out the door. It was not for me.

He was talking again after many years of silence. We spoke in English and Russian. All the local news media were there to cover the story. Suddenly something awakened me that I had known before. I went into the navy.

“I made a mistake and you will be paralyzed for life.” By now I was surrounded by active, healthy people. My question hit like a bombshell. But then I would think: They do that to bring more fear and harassment.

In many nations around the world there was a big real estate boom. My family is dead. Let this stream of water stop flowing. I saw some of my friends and acquaintances coming home wounded. I knew something was wrong, but I could not put my finger on it.

What about the “Big Bang” theory? When I left Germany I swore I would never, ever go back to that accursed land. The question was, where do I find him? When I talk about it I can still feel the cat o’-nine tails on my back. I remember that time. It’s hard to believe I lived through such horror.

I even faked robberies. I should have been seeking answers. There may be something to that. Only years later did I understand. I had grown up. “What a remarkable lucky coincidence.” A few days after the accident, I discovered I was pregnant.

Yet, my childhood was far from normal. Tricia was truly searching. This widow visited him in prison. I’ve been a liar and a con man all my life. Sending something that seemed like an electric current through their bodies, and they would feel better. You can’t build up any savings there. I also knew I would have no peace until I found them. I will never forget these words spoken to me.

It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. The people were nice, but it was not for me. When I lived in Chicago I was able to buy luscious oranges. I went over to my mother to explain. I saw a man coming toward me from the other side of the street. Neither money nor sex, travel, fame, food, drugs, title, possession, power or any other human accomplishment can fill this emptiness.

“I have to keep my professional distance from you, but it isn’t anything personal.” People came from all over. After we had been dating for seven or eight months, I told my mother. I have just one question for you. Did it work? I lifted them upwards as she spoke. Being mostly silent, I spoke in sign language.

“One should follow the majority.” I began to attend a children’s group. That was a miracle in itself. The revelation was so real to me. I suggested that the station do a story. I spent a year and a half there through the frigid winter in a tent-like teepee. A nation was born in a single day. At that point I really did accept it. But the nicer they were, the worse I felt.

He had long brown hair and intense eyes. I finally surrendered. One morning my employer handed me an envelope. For a while I sat there struggling with my conscience. I wanted to know how that related to me. Their allergies would often disappear. It just wasn’t relevant.

We traveled to a park. So I had to ask the question. Talk about “majority rules”! While I was working on the competition, tears began to run down my cheeks. The floodgates were opened. We must ignore that voice.

These concerns are from a man who is credited with their survival. Father would come home. I had a lot of friends when I was younger. Serious question deserved serious answers. When I got out of bed my feet became numb. In college they even offered a course in which they ridiculed people. My uncle, a developer, one day asked me to go repair some carpets. There I started to feel a little better about myself.

I started to rise out of the water. I walked onto the stage where the others were. I had been involved two or three years before. Being touched by one removes sin. If a wristwatch could not have evolved, how could they ever expect me to believe that something as complicated as a human being just “happened.”

Our conversation continued for some time. I was too “far gone” to be helped. “Haven’t you helped her yet?” I knew from the time I could reach up to those items never to confuse them. I ended up in the hospital with pneumonia and facing charges. “Forget that I talked to you.” I finally realized it was much easier to yield to her. I learned how to work that machine. But the adults viewed the event as a fairy tale. They were the ones who invented the whole idea.

When I was 12 years old, I had a supernatural encounter that was to determine my destiny. She looked at me eye-to-eye and put her hands together. “I just canceled my subscription.” I returned to find my home rearranged. Before I give you some examples, I want to understand. I knew of a printing business. He became self-absorbed and lost his temper easily. These two words transformed her life.

There is much evidence of this. I gave him a little background about my research. I operated a machine. I stopped a robbery at my office. They passed their unique tradition on to their successors. A week later I was walking along the beach.

“Welcome home, this is what you’ve been looking for!” By early fall I was back in New York. Excitement swelled. Who could be bribed and appeased, he would still be deathly afraid. George was a coach of baseball and basketball teams. Why not follow their lead? Why do we still have monkeys? That was our food for 24 hours. I found it amazing.

I remember distinctly on the morning of the 31st day at about eleven o’clock. She was only a few days old. It was all so wonderful. Quietly without telling anyone, I began to read.

He discovers that within himself there exists a certain emptiness. When I was five years old, I began to study piano at music school. When I was done, I was standing there dripping wet. Most people don’t seem to be experiencing this abundant life today. One day my sister came home and told our mother she believed in God. My family and I sat up front. I had a number of dramatic experiences there.

Did you know the human eye has one million nerve fibers? There was a dispute. They cannot imagine the hell I went through. If he had, I would have run in the opposite direction. Eventually, I flew back to Paris. My young daughter was still going to a private school. After the police report was duly filed, I received a check.

For a number of years I produced and hosted a nationally syndicated radio show. But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. I want to go back to the beginning. I got my wish and made it through. Many were from dysfunctional families. It was like getting back something that had been stolen. I was so excited by what I had seen. I was working in the field one day, digging up sugar beets.

All around me I heard the bells of churches ringing. I know how they feel. I’ve been there. I don’t argue with them. Most of them had never seen an airplane before. I don‘t remember saying it, but they were asking me to forgive them. 

You cannot do anything in your own power. We were told to bring an apple and a brand-new white handkerchief as an offering. I wouldn’t stop feeling sorry for myself. How could this be? I was ten and one-half years old. We were all absolutely disgusted. She asked if I could volunteer. I was glad to help.

Not to worry. Is there life after death? Besides creating cash flow, the restoration projects also added to my income statements. What is the sense of any of this? She was my daughter! I was leaving my daughter! What kind of power could allow another woman to forgive the drug-crazed man who killed her husband with a hammer?

We were not permitted to work. Most of the family had died. I didn’t feel atheism had any scientific proof. When in prison I wrote all my victims and told them I wanted to pay them back. It is incumbent upon us to do whatever is necessary.

I started everything with a program. I’m glad everyone doesn’t have the experience of the dark invisible world. You’re such a smart and logical person. I was surprised to see that both my brothers and father were forced to serve in the reserves. This was quite an accusation and I didn’t take it lightly. A deaf and dumb person couldn’t speak! A peace seemed to surround him. I was trying to make plans. Our relationship continued to deteriorate. One may wonder why?

He opened the case and produced all the books I had typed. Nobody knows the pain I went through. I looked from right to left at the many people. This is rapidly changing. I removed my short-hair businessman’s wig for the last time. I used drugs because they made me feel good! I turned away from the filthy life I had been leading.

I was six or seven years old. I was amazed at what I found. I was losing everything. I was devastated and in deep mourning. This was a big event. She was flown and all. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I shouted to the audience. How’s that for a dry, parched, barren desert?

If it rained you ducked into the nearest house with reporters rushing to the phones to call in their stories. I was convinced that since I was young and in the media, I would have a little grace period. My mother is a classical guitarist. I spent the next few years doing séances, meditating, channeling , and psychic paintings and healing.

Fraud is never an end in itself; it’s always a means to some kind of end. I was the first person any knew of to start a business at such a young age. 

What is the common denominator among these in this unusual group? At the time I was a guide and a bus driver. It is a sin to tell a lie, even a white lie. It was distinct from the other days of the week. Are things getting clearer now? The ceremony made me very uncomfortable, and I went home in despair. There were certain rules and regulations that we followed.

Imagine having intimacy with God. You can hear his voice. You can experience his love. Shouldn’t we follow the plain and obvious meaning? He insisted that my daughter come back home. I still cannot understand what happened next.

I was dead inside. I now was about to lose my second family. The last season the arrangement worked fine. We would stop in the bakery. I didn’t think I could go on. I later found out that was a lie. But he didn’t see me. Through these extra activities, I raised enough extra money. If you don’t know before you die, we must believe. The victory is through knowing. When no one is looking.

He would reveal to the world written hundreds of years before, so bulky and complex, it seemed odd. It didn’t fit. He came out of the wreckage alive. He turned around, walked away and seemed to disappear into the crowd. I thought, what if they don’t make me leave?

For the next ten hours, it was not appropriate. This is why my husband died. It didn’t make much sense to me. Another important consideration as I walked out of that hut with very high interest: There was a great commotion in the courtroom. Their sole intent was to destroy. I had prepared fresh fruit on a paper plate.

He will not be revealed to us. I was horrified. I said, I respect your lifestyle, but I need to explore a different one for me. You have two choices: I could not forgive them for the atrocities I went through as a child. When we were hungry, people would bring us food or we would cook in the bus.

I had been in a period of seeking. The real “big bang” is yet to come. After that, all those who remained died of typhus. Build a mountain out of a non-existent molehill. He could help me to make this my profession when I graduated.

One could almost say, Then what does? I am pleased to report that it is not of ourselves. Their master weeping, using massive quantities, in a verse that says “Don’t follow the majority,” was sliced up. One person asked. It was a horror because it was a horror because we asked. We went from a warm house into freezing conditions. He was admitted to a private hospital close to home. I was talented enough to get in, I later realized. She showed me an X-ray of a tumor the size of an orange.

Is it any wonder why I call it? Then I started to think about what I believed. The next morning she heard some coughs around the room and screaming. Legal decisions are to be made solely on the basis of human reasoning and logical deductions. He made fun of me in front of my friends.

And there is not a single example. We felt comfortable sitting close. Since our house was not close I went upstate. The very first mention of even the concept changed the calendar when midnight approached. What kind of power could allow, wandered in the maze, that these traditions aren’t true? That really struck home. Suddenly, soon I began to see that I wasn’t able to lie like I used to. It was horrible.

They need to be expanded and explained. The countenance of the man was majestic. With such prospects, should he not be afraid? While there I made friends with a lady deeply involved. He had his first night’s sleep since the war. It is time for you to act. Now I had two strikes against me. It was difficult for me to give up anything. I felt so grateful and relieved that I was going to get the help I needed and the answers I so desperately wanted.

He suffered a severe concussion, which the doctors told him would take a long period of rest. Three days later we felt we had to leave the community. “If you leave the house, the authorities will put you in jail for desertion of your minor children.” I was still in New York City, working full-time in an accounting firm by day. Of course we should. Be he wanted to know if it was okay. I’ll make good on it and I’ll stop this behavior, I promised myself.

When he left the hospital, he went to his mother’s home for several months to recuperate. Again I was caught in a web of experiences that forced me to think about issues of life and death. Shortly after that encounter I went to a dinner. Later, though, I confessed.

Now at the end of the night, he called people forward. This increased my longing. People have to be blind to deny. I was becoming more and more disturbed by my research. I wanted to know the truth. It couldn’t be a coincidence, my meeting the same man from the vision on the street.

In a few years, my parent moved to Los Angeles to join us, and shortly after that we moved south. That was interesting to me because I don’t sign very well. One day I was walking to work downtown. An agricultural transformation began to take place. Then I thought, What am I doing here? That was a distinct doctrine. We had decided to give our marriage another chance. Different from anything I had experienced, this was a period of deep soul searching for me.

After leaving Mexico, we traveled through Southern California as I was preparing to finish elementary school and begin the summer holidays. These familiar spirits have been around for thousands of years. I was confused and frightened. Never before in the history of mankind, I could call them by name, talk with them and they with me. The Devil is real. Demons are real. So for a year I didn’t play the piano.

Why do people go to such extremes? Where do you stand? I remember in college we used to study the evolutionary date charts. They go hand in hand. Wise in their own eyes, you will not be disappointed. Why try to figure it out all by yourself? Open your eyes when you do. There is often beauty and wisdom in their words. They were totally committed to their traditions.

But I didn’t feel like fighting about it. “Should I say something?” If the person you talk to, and the problems facing the family… These thoughts tormented me until I spoke. I lived for his daily appearances. I felt the biggest stone falling off your back. But there were days when I thought I wasn’t going to make it. The greatest con in life, who I had met earlier in the week — his words pierced to the depths of my heart. “You’re lying, I can see it in your heart.”

This power, this fight, they express their joy at seeing the closer you get to the original if one does not obey was I going to say do you know what just happened? They could have saved themselves a lot of trouble if they had thought for themselves.

Now it’s time to listen. I noticed that in the window. So I decided to pray. This of course was the role of most of the important cut flowers exported. Wow! No one is righteous, no one; all of us have gone astray, each one has turned his own way. I began to look up the references. Little by little, I became convinced.

I excelled in sports. This is a wonderful life to live, isn’t it? She produced the articles of incorporation for a company that had my name as president. That image gave me strength. Our relationship fell apart after one year.

Another person expressed his concern. We would have to stand in line for hours, no matter how deep the snow was, half-naked and without shoes. I followed this with a personal talk. Three-foot rays of blue light came out of his fingertips. They go back many years, way back, as far back as we can remember. Sometimes I felt I had a great treasure, then I would dismiss it again.

Jack went freely around breaking and changing the laws. During my second and third year of college I certainly valued some peace. Work or money, sports or sex — we will all stand before them. I am a survivor of my family, who were warm and caring. My relatives lived within walking distance of each other. You were always in the house of a cousin or an aunt or uncle. My mother instilled that in me. I never knew a difference between when I started.

As a young adult I married a man from a similar background. We divorced. I remember those early years. It was on such a morning that I whispered to my daughter, “There has got to be a better way.” Moving out-of-state in the right direction during the damp winter months I had heard a doctor on a talk show mention words echoing in my ears.

How can you tell me it doesn’t mean a thing? One afternoon Elisa came home. The architect of modern-day worked in a tiny room. It was difficult to open the longer I worked. They stayed with me for many years. Everything was always like I had seen it. What’s more, beginning shortly these teachings — we inherited them. Not quite! Wouldn’t have stood a chance where anyone was punished, rebuked, or held accountable.

He was about my age. Even scattered around the world, my husband, my sister, and my three children had tormented me my whole life. I was free. For example, one week I felt empty. The following day, all those hours of daily practice year after year yielded a couple of brief moments of glory. The witnesses who later said their lives were impacted, who rose from the dead rather than be scared, in particular always encouraged and complimented me. So at times I was spoiled.

First, they failed. Then, they noticed a play on words is one thing. But the real meaning is something else you have never let me show you.  If you were to fly because of my belief, when I opened my eyes one time as a child at such a rate one would only have to visit. Most of all it works in the lives on the face of this earth that I wanted to see.

-- A Nu Prose Arrangement  based on  They Thought for Themselves: Daring to Confront the Forbidden, 
by Sid Roth;  Messianic Vision Press, 1999

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