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child's play

 

Child’s Play



A child’s plight should be voiced. Urinating and defecating in the playroom is prohibited. Sometimes children are afraid to make a choice because they have always been told what to do. The neurotic child discovers that his inner impulses may be discharged without dooming him. A vague limit contributes neither to security nor peace. Pugnacious children thrive on turmoil and tension. When this happens, it’s time to change techniques. 

There is little benefit in allowing children to attack each other. The parents express in their tone words of rejection. They need to involve themselves in their children’s games without aimlessly repeating frustrations and deprivations encountered outside. The enchanting toys make it difficult for children to remain withdrawn. How quick they are to deny, disown and suppress them! He sees which members of the family are “accidentally” thrown out of the window. They are given a short explanation of how to use the play hour. Even one misfit in a group may create discord. A child does not enjoy such a privilege. A sensitive person understands the child’s feelings in a strange situation. 

He was the meanest man he’d ever met. Such a judgment, however, would overlook the stress and pain of earlier years. In a thousand and one ways they victimize their playmates. It may take a few months before a small child can reach the top. That is, sublimations replace displacements. 

She was afraid of doctors because they hurt you. They hadn’t much choice about relinquishing infantile gratifications. His speech consisted of repetitions of parental prohibitions. They didn’t hesitate to ask personal questions of the most intimate nature. Parents seem to be satisfied with the experience. They are given the chance to touch toys and ask questions. They have no reason to trust him because of an over-identification in order to enforce justice, but their viscera will not permit it. 

They are forced to give up interest in primary processes as early as possible. This facilitates the establishment of contact with the child. Because he is unable to judge distance correctly, he stumbles over everything. He responds with equal attention to events of unequal importance. He may have involuntary contortions and muscle twitching without realizing the strangeness of his behavior. They never cease to react to their transitory feelings and errant thoughts. The normal child uses toys for the purpose for which they were intended. They irritate the other members of the group. The presence of familiar persons tends to freeze old patterns of behavior. This is not a casual statement, but the beginning of a new relationship. 

The walls should be sturdy and re-paintable, the floor washable and unwaxed. In the course of a few minutes she witnessed scenes that violated her fundamental rules of conduct. He feebly defended himself. He was respected as an individual, no matter what he might think, feel, say or do. He wanted to look and see. He assumed responsibility for naming the objects of his feelings. It was impossible to overestimate the danger of even mild frustration. 

They sense their hunger for love and exploit it to the utmost. There is, therefore, a never-ending need for self-examination. He attempted to control people and objects. He made a nervous wreck out of her. It was socially unacceptable and against the law. Feelings of resentment are bound to arise. She felt totally exhausted by her household duties. She heard hammers banging and children crying. The machines were necessary primarily during the initial phase. 

They gain a sense of accomplishment when they gently pat and mold the substance directly. He noted the child’s favored figures. He was aware of the potentialities of the situation. It was an important though often neglected part of their responsibility. Time alone does not produce reliable improvement. Various variables affect the outcome. They had ambivalent feelings. All of them had something in common. They could not find a formula to suit his taste. He didn’t know if they had a picture of the child or not. They were asked to formulate their failings. 

They react with more histories of hurt and hardships in the endless search for magic solutions. A medical opinion needs to understand, as feelings are brought out, patients block the outflow of troubled feelings. They didn’t hesitate to participate. Such human kindness can be supplied best for about two dollars. Any other equipment beyond this is an indulgence. 

They are replete with disagreements in an enticing and provocative way. The noxious influence of their outside life may be used in constructing a personality picture. Frequently a long history of failure is an experience in self-exploration. He just stands in a corner of the room, staring into space in stony silence. A deep sigh and a rolling tear may be reflected in a startled reaction to a sudden noise. “Windows are not for breaking,” he said. The anxiety mounted because he feared retaliation. 

The cards helped preserve their anonymity. Most of them talked quite freely in such a group. They verbalize a feeling of relief when they realize they are not alone in their thoughts. They subsequently return. Such feelings are natural. 

He can still recall the look of amazement on their faces. They played out family themes. They ignored the fact that the materials had behavior-propelling qualities of their own. They intentionally devalued their status to compete in rivalrous games. She picked the child up and carried him there. However he seemed to be unwilling to meet her halfway. He proclaimed a symbolic sit-down strike. They produced frustration and dependence and hindered the development of feelings of mastery and security. They had a relentless insistence on the preservation of sameness. He uttered smutty words to his heart’s content. They prevented undesirable acts while protecting his feelings. He did not describe to the tearful child the “wonderful” playroom. They found in the machine a means of showing their might without infringing on right. They wanted to conceal what they didn’t want revealed. She saw his thought. If he was respected, perhaps he deserved to be loved. He had some questions about why he was there. 

When he abandons objectivity, disadvantages accrue. He feels unhappy and then overjoyed if he makes some progress. Taken by surprise, the anger that they evoke in others proved to them that their impulses are dangerous. It looked like a snake hanging by two hands from the top.  While testing themselves against the towering heights and experiencing fear proportionally sc
aled in size, it is often frustrating to children as they tip over or use the shelf as a bed. 

They complain that the playroom is dirty. He shoves them around and even hurts them physically and projects his misdeeds onto others. They have little energy left for satisfying themselves. It is the presence of “social hunger” that motivates his change of behavior, which must be selected and grouped and provide original and articulated discussion. But the child was not convinced. They believed that they needed interpretations refused to them in infancy; otherwise these sudden surging symptoms would become permanent problems. and plague the playroom. They felt such toys were beneath them. They liked to pour water in a sandbox. He divulged personal secrets. His tears and tantrums are accepted in a visible form in order to take the first step to admit their desire. 

The child as he truly is: This is not a simple request which switches to more subtle methods. It is preferable to be total rather than conditional, in a manner that leaves no doubt. He lacked a desire to make any decision at all. It was just a problem of how to attack it as a substitute for direct acting out. Their powerful punch reflected on the electric panel at follow-up periods. 

The boys burst into loud laughter. The baby was left out of the house altogether. It stems from a realistic dislike of the anticipated job. It cannot be over-emphasized. Screaming at the top of their voices, such a chain of events determines choice or necessity. Pictures of pyramids evoke wanderlust. These episodes made a profound impression on him. 

There are conflicting opinions about optimal times amassed at random with personal prediction being the decisive factor. Her questioning him was worse than futile. He often tripped and became groggy after he knocked out the pegs. He responded gingerly to the enticing possibilities, however he readily switched to suggested substitute outlets. She expected the doll to fall backwards. His world became more peopled with friendly beings. They couldn’t tolerate the children’s conversation. They generally focus on stopping undesirable actions, not on liquidating negative feelings. 

He very much wanted to take a gun home. He was about to fire a dart at him or throw a block. It presents many technical problems that call for decisions. These patterns give a clearer picture of the way they perceive the world. Even the meekest of children may experience a sense of accomplishment. He indiscriminately mouths anything. She will not smile in response to a smile. He becomes more important by identifying with more autonomous group members. It arouses too much guilt in cramped quarters. 

She showed growth in the repertory of her self-expressions. However, it was not so cut and dried that it prevented attacks. It is easy to see they are still mad at each other. 

They told in words what they thought of each other. It continued to interfere with their ability to remain emotionally accepting. Given the opportunity, they can and do help themselves. However, it is unknown if the effects are temporary or permanent. There are really no right or wrong answers in these things. The person she talked to before was passive and made her nervous. She found herself using the same words with her daughter. Sometimes she just couldn’t figure them out. 

He received help from other sources. They decided the problem would take too long to solve. Want to see cars crash? She thought she was his mother. There were inconsistencies, confusion, indecision, and doubt. He wasn’t sure what he should do. Hostility is not a problem but a condition of human existence. The anxiety and effort entailed in keeping clothes clean interfered with his free-floating attention. He knows that someone else will sweep the floors and tackle the toys. He chooses for him and for them. It is strictly the children’s hour. 

He threatened to kill him, skin him, poison him, stick a knife into his stomach, choke him, break his nose, and chop off his head. There was a mile-wide smile on his face when he replied. He reflected his feelings in his own words. He seemed both surprised and gratified. He was blamed by other adults. He was a captive customer, made to serve against his will. The most common initial approach is to ask questions. 

One must be sensitively attuned to healthy as well as to distorted needs. She could not understand such complicated speech. She has become too frank in expressing her feelings about her family. They strongly object to the imposition of a dangerous technique that undermines the foundation and must vary accordingly and not fall into the expected pattern which drives her further into isolation, alert to the unspoken wishes, frightening, which she cannot afford in such silent situations and feel compelled to activate without showing resistance. 

He undressed, kissed, hugged and made love to a doll. They need to state their orientation and glean evidence from their experience. She was in the company of two or three other waiting and wailing mothers. They were told about his great fear of abandonment in an unfamiliar room, which increases anxiety for the moment. He came too close to the brink of endurance. It only delayed self-regulation and encouraged narcissism. 

He ignored the limits of his reality. He didn’t like to be treated that way. He didn’t want to be there. He minimized the arousal of resentment. He helped him with both his feelings and actions. The usefulness of each of the materials was evaluated. Whatever decision she made was accepted. It was accomplished without a word, just with a smile. He could not let her come back that day. 

They play according to the rules of the game in a completely mature manner and exhibit a remarkable frustration tolerance while waiting for their turn. 

They waited until the last few minutes to discuss significant problems. It aroused too many insoluble problems for both of them and challenged their peace of mind. It did not fail to make an impression on him. They turned tools into torpedoes and materials into missiles. 

They were compelled to occupy a room where everything is in miniature. It dissuaded them from speaking. This allows only a limited means of release. They drew ugly pictures of each other on the blackboard and then shot them. It lent itself to a rapid sequence of construction, wrecking and rebuilding. It became a desert, a swamp, a jungle or a sea. He just gave out what occurred to him at the moment. He became quite upset. No blanket recommendation can be made. He is hopeless and helpless. Nothing remains to help him. The young painters achieve release without revealing the nature of their inner problems or admitting their preoccupation with forbidden subjects. They punch and pound, venting hostility ordinarily directed at people. 

He found an ally for his struggling ego. He was determined not to be the target of his attacks. The detached parts were easily restored to their places. An alligator swallowed the despised sister and a tiger slayed the hated father. They were prohibited from exploding a whole row of caps. He saw that he liked it there very much and wanted to stay longer. No effort was spared to minimize the possibility of physical injury. Restraints start very early in a life. They are prohibited from sitting on their laps or hugging or kissing them. They turned off the lights for a long while. He composed critical poems and wrote murder mysteries. It forced people to be in close proximity with each other. 

He threw sand in his shoes and masturbated openly. They were exposed to peers, resistive materials, and a scarcity of tools that demanded exploration. This task is usually accomplished by punishment, which leads to repression. With the keenness of built-in radar, they registered his emotional tones and experienced in their persons their strivings for appreciation and status. 

It makes it safe for them to explore their inner and outer worlds. He has a chance to confront habitual, unfruitful, self-defeating modes of reaction. The relationship made it possible for him to act out his inner self. It was an emotion of a different color. He made a bid for affection. He ran the risk of the situation getting out of hand. These variables can be manipulated to regulate the degree of mildness or wildness. It taught him some uneasy lessons in self-knowledge without being infected by anger, fear or confusion. It was difficult not to intervene to ensure a more equal distribution of wealth. It was mainly a test of his tolerance for noise. They communicated loud and clear. They believe in acting the role of the loving parent but they are over-sympathetic and easily heartbroken. They are suspicious of closeness that is thrust upon them. 

Some of them were marred and disfigured beyond use. He aided in developing insight. He cannot be expected to have the same feelings at all times. According to them it is better to be married than single. He showed a variety of speech difficulties. If this assumption is true, his play is his talk and his toys are his words. Ingrained characteristics do not disappear into thin air. Collecting raw date is an insurmountable task. He remained indifferent to urging. His only reaction to his pain was queer grinning or hollow laughter. 

No insightful statements were made. They made great efforts to establish a relationship and draw him into their games. They were delighted with any little token; a piece of colored clay is valued as much as a doll. If he wants help in opening a door, he drags a hand in the direction of the door. They did not take into account expression of feeling through play activities. The excerpts seemed arbitrarily selected, and subjectively interpreted. 

He attributes his actions to orders from a boss, a ghost, or some other outside agent. He continued in a robot-like manner. Negative attitudes were reliably selected and classified. They are expressed more clearly, more directly, less frequently and less intensely. They display a variety of unspontaneous behaviors. He begged her desperately not to leave him alone. 

The outstanding finding assumed that they respond differently in a predictable manner. They had the greatest improvement in personal feelings toward self. They show no fear or cringing. They did not feel compelled to stop their play in order to tidy themselves. 

They reported the reason for their defections to be the alleviation of the presenting symptoms. Though small and unpretentious, they evolved procedures without jeopardizing results. Groups need not be homogeneous. It is important to know whether they are autistic, brain-damaged, mentally retarded, or just scared. Time alone does not produce reliable improvement. They found no difference between cases despite an optimistic prognoses. 

They became overactive and aggressive. Those who drop out have to be replaced. They were allowed free emotional expression. They blocked the outflow of troubled feelings, thus blocking reorientation of attitudes. It placed them on a common plane. A slight extra pressure is unlikely to make much difference in the long run. Differences between groups vanish. Tides of hostility and hilarity must ebb and flow. They consistently meet many qualifications essential to functioning. Beneficial outcomes are related to practical procedures. They remained in their unhappy state. They had a potential need to gain acceptance by peers. It depends greatly on harmonious combination. 

They must provide convincing proofs of their methods. They observed them through a one-way-vision glass concomitantly with the passage of time in a series of sessions. They initiated others into the art of thievery. He gave his undivided attention to the frightened child, despite the general reluctance to label him. Instinctual fear is aroused and authority symbols are now supplied. These trends were not found in self-regarding attitudes and feelings expressed together in increasing number and then decreasing slightly. Were particular themes encouraged during their unfolding? 

They assumed normal assertiveness but appeared at a late stage to allow their impulses some expression. The core problem is a reactive, retaliatory way of life. It gave a picture of the change in emotions while in process. The waste of time is regretted but the opportunity is welcome. It made it hard to escape facing her problems as they occur. He was usually unable to mingle freely with other boys or play in normal boyish games. 

A long waiting period often augments ailments. Their identification with the others is quite apparent. If they are insecure and lacking in response owing to a basic weakness of little use, their social hunger that must be available and their use of leisure time are of particular significance and cannot be obtained by tests alone. They inevitably create turmoil as they are constantly embroiled in conflicts. They are suspicious of all relationships. He provided the most original and articulate discussion of indications. 

It is better to rule out physical factors that contribute to difficulties. She was tense and restless, moved around in her chair, cracking her knuckles and muttering words to herself. Instead of splashing paint, they paint pictures; instead of throwing blocks, they’re building houses. A process akin to matchmaking is required. She needed help to acquire soft, smooth nerves. Now she has nightmares and wakes up screaming. It hurts her that they don’t like her. 

He may sift sand and never make mud. They had a private right to become involved or to withdraw from it, without waste of time. They became aware of the change within themselves. Feelings of omnipotence and magic were unmasked and modified. They are less tense, less defensive, and better able to utilize an hour productively, which is half the consolation. They could not sustain their gains without undergoing emotional reorientation. They rest or roam without fear. Their eyes light up with a strange glitter as they share their hatred. 

Differential techniques were developed to meet unique needs. They were grouped for the effect they have upon each other. No one method is universally applicable. They stood close to each other sharing their common sorrow. It led to the emergence of themes related to the core problems. They became very resentful when their attitudes were focused on, not from hostility but from lack of awareness. They became more introspective under the neutralizing influence of calmer mates. A few minutes later, they were busily digging in the sandbox. 

One of the things he wanted to ask his advice about was whether he had a picture of him and, very unsure of his next move, perhaps work out some solution together. He reflected the feelings involved. It is considerably a more potent experience to honestly share feelings with several people in a joint search. He was reluctant to follow a strange person into a strange room. They cannot resist delving into “significant material.” He expected some ideas to be offered up to him. The tendency was to regard it as “superficial,” “watered-down,” a “qualitatively different experience.” The unanswered question is: what takes place? 

He exemplified good behavior. She was afraid she reared her child in “too great freedom.” Normal children ease into personal relationships. There are always situation limits. “I try to spank out hate and spank in love,” she said quite sincerely. She would be so hurt, she could only cry. 

They needed validated criteria for selection. In dealing with problems, the stress is on suggesting solutions. She didn’t think she could stop right there. She hated her mother’s way of talking. They were puzzled when confronted by their incestuous approaches. They were delighted by its style and substance. They find it difficult to tolerate ambiguous feelings. They become alarmed at this discovery. They were “embarrassed and mortified.” They become more sensitized to the impact of their conduct. The underlying feelings need handling too. He got thinking that he has it a lot easier than his mother had. 

They were just not able to fill it out now. They felt they were not on the same moral, social or physical level. This matter had never been covered before. 

— from Group Psychotherapy with Children: The Theory and Practice of Play-Therapy 
by Haim G. Ginott; McGraw-Hill, 1961

— January 4 – 13, 2010 



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